But Senpai, It's Cute!
by Hossenfeffer
Summary: Sebastian is a stupid name, un!" Deidara cried plucking the kitten by the scruff of it's neck and holding it away from himself. "It looks like a Frederick." Crack.


This is my first Naruto fic, so I'm sorry if the characters are OOC. This was written at 3 am so critiques would be very much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.

- Hossenfeffer

* * *

"Deidara-senpai!" Tobi cried enthusiastically as he bounded across the room. "Deidara-senpai look what Tobi found!"

In his hands was a tiny white kitten with orange and black patches over it. As he came to a halt he thrust the kitten into Deidara's face and beamed through his mask.

"Isn't he beautiful?" He asked eagerly.

Deidara stared at the kitten in dismay; he was allergic to cats. But the main issue was the fact that Tobi already seemed to be attached to the creature.

Racking his brain he tried to come up with a strategy to get rid of the creature with the least amount of complaints possible…

A slow smile crossed his face as he thought of the perfect way.

"Get rid of it, un." He replied flippantly and dismissed Tobi with a wave of his hand. "Leader-sama would never agree to it. He hates cats, un."

From behind the mask he could practically see Tobi's eyes bulge from their sockets.

"D-doesn't like _kittens_?!" Tobi cried desperately, bringing the fuzzy creature to his face and nuzzling it's little head. "But senpai! He's so cute! And he has no family! I found him in the rain and I already named him Sebastian!"

"…why Sebastian…?" He asked slowly.

Tobi thrust the kitten further into Deidara's face and it let out a little yelp.

"He looks like a Sebastian,"

"Sebastian is a stupid name, un!" Deidara cried plucking the kitten by the scruff of it's neck and held it away from himself. "It looks like a Frederick." He announced with a self satisfied smirk.

Tobi's jaw dropped as he fell to his knees in front of Deidara. "Frederick! That is such a good name, senpai! Have you named other kittens?"

Sighing, Deidara side-stepped Tobi and walked towards the door holding the kitten out in front of himself.

"What are you doing with Frederick!?" Tobi blubbered as he reached out pathetically towards his new little friend.

"I'm going to feed it to Zetsu, un."

"NO!" Tobi yelled and launched himself across the room and blocked the exit. "Frederick and Tobi have a bond just as strong as ours!"

Deidara felt his lip twitch, 'What bond?' he brooded as he stared at the weeping partner on the floor in front of him.

"Senpai! Please. I won't play with your clay ever again!"

At this Deidara's plans temporarily stopped as he considered it; sometimes Tobi got Play-Doh mixed in with his clay, saying he couldn't tell the difference. Though you would think that the orange colour of the shameful clay would be some hint -- apparently not to Tobi.

"…you promise never to use my clay again?" Deidara asked as he held the kitten out of Tobi's grasp.

"Y-es!"

"I don't think you mean it, un!" He bellowed and cringed as it mewed again.

"Yes! Tobi promises senpai! Scouts honour! I never lie!" He wept as he placed one over his heart and his other adjacent to himself.

Deidara paused and thought it through. As long as he didn't touch the kitten he wouldn't have any allergic reactions. Suppressing a sigh Deidara dropped the kitten into Tobi's outstretched hands and walked to his bed across the room.

"Thank you Deidara-senpai!" Tobi cried, voice cracking up as he wiped non-existent tears off of his orange mask.

"Yeah. Whatever, un." He mumbled and stretched out onto his bed, burying his face into the soft down pillow.

There was silence for a few minutes other than Tobi's squeals of delight and he relaxed, happy to know that his clay would never be messed with again.

Something soft landed on the bed, but Deidara didn't bother opening his eyes. He heard the sound of the mattress moving ever so slightly but still didn't bother to open his eyes. It didn't matter, all was well. His art would remain in perfection and he could continue to cause explosions sky high!

A smile crossed his face as he thought of the bang that would follow it, then the explosion of colours as his creation reached it's pinnacle. So transient…

'Art is bang, un.' he mouthed silently and tried to recall--

Something tickled his nose. Gradually he cracked an eye open.

"Mew." Frederick cried happily as he pushed his little face against Deidara's.

_Achoo!_

"Deidara-senpai! I think Frederick loves you."

_Oh shit. _


End file.
